


Rekindled

by Tyler_Blackwing



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Motivational Speech, Caleb Widogast is in Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Eiselcross (Critical Role), Essek Thelyss Has a Crush, Essek Thelyss-centric, Essek loves these people, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mighty Nein as Family, Minor Violence, Not Beta Read, Self-Esteem Issues, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 19:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_Blackwing/pseuds/Tyler_Blackwing
Summary: "It's the dome tonight, guys."In the ruins of Eiselcross, Essek fights his first fight, side by side with the Mighty Nein. A rest is in order - but is he even allowed to get close to them?Also, Essek hears about the M9's strange trust building exercises (aka endangering/killing each other during their adventures). Maybe there's hope for him. (Feat. Caduceus the Therapy Cleric)There be Wizard Boys Fluff inside. I needed something nice.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Fjord/Jester Lavorre
Comments: 10
Kudos: 157





	Rekindled

**Author's Note:**

> I miss Essek already.  
> Also if Caleb keeps this up and goes back to Astrid after everything, I will go feral.  
> (No, they should just be having their fun, but I adore Essek and the poor guy needs someone to keep him right.)
> 
> This is pure self-indulgent fluff by the way, I needed something nice, hope you enjoy!

“It’s the dome tonight, guys…”

Caleb’s voice echoed through the ruins as he cast Disintegrate at the horrifying creature. Essek had been taken aback at first. He’d read and heard of the ruins, of course, and of their inhabitants - but he’d never seen them. At first glance, it was terrifying. He was sure he’d be interested to learn more, but during the fight only his perfectly schooled composure kept him from freaking out.   
Caleb had been in the thick of the battle and casting fire and his cat’s claw and Slow and he’d enlarged Beauregard, and Essek had kept the monster preoccupied in between, but it had gotten in some good hits all around. It was resistant to the elements, and the strange nature of the ruins was more than just irritating for magic users. So all of them were relieved when it finally broke down, mostly turned to dust, and Caduceus dropped to his knees to start a prayer. Strange practise, but he wasn’t one to judge.

“Oh my gosh, we need to rest.” 

Jester threw back her blood-matted hair and Essek cocked a small smile, amused about how reluctant the self-proclaimed cleric was to use her healing magic. She’d been fighting with vigor, though, and he’d lie if he said he wasn’t impressed. 

Beauregard was her normal size again, collapsing next to Yasha, breathing heavily. Fjord joined them and his face spoke of pain, but he wasn’t quite sure if that was just Veth’s constant teasing about him having missed so often. Not that her crossbow bolts had dealt much damage, but poor Fjord was missing that information entirely. 

It had been scary. The first real battle he fought; he was one for intrigue and letting others do the dirty work, he wasn’t made for close combat. Floating over to the remains of the beast, he investigated them - it seemed like an experiment, randomly combined parts of powerful entities, the stuff of nightmares. Curious.

“Is it dead?”, Veth almost yelled, her voice shrill in the otherwise quiet stone room. “I’m checking the room for TRAPS! Hidden treasure! Other monsters! Making sure we’re safe for the night.”   
She muttered to herself while she was sneaking around the room, Caleb joining her.  
His presence tickled the back of Essek’s neck like a static charge, but he focused on the problem before him.

“Very much so. I suppose it will not be a problem for us any more. Caleb made sure of that.”

Ten minutes after their victory a warm, soothing feeling washed over him. Still a ways away from the group he turned and looked at Caduceus, who just gave him a reassuring smile.

“You did well, thank you for your help”, he said, but Essek shook his head.

“There is nothing to thank me for, I promised to fight by your side.”

Jester pulled him into a hug. “NO no no he’s right, you’re SO powerful! I told you you’d be a great help, Essek! I feel _so_ much better because you’re with us!”

It hurt. Not the hug (although he was not used to hugs, and Jester was particularly strong), but her affection. He knew he didn’t deserve this, and most of the Nein surely felt the same. Caleb’s stare burned into his skin.

“That is very kind of you to say.” He managed a half-smile, his eyes watery as he freed himself from her grasp. “Anyway. We really should rest. If something sneaks up on us now, we would be in grave danger.”

Caleb sighed. “Ja, give me a minute.”  
He cast a dark grey dome in a corner of the room, vanishing completely in it.  
“Come on in.”

The Mighty Nein scrambled to get their stuff, moving to the dome. Caduceus stopped next to Essek and just smiled. 

“You’re planning to stay outside, aren’t you.”

“You are, as usual, very perceptive.”

“You don’t have to, you know. Caleb wouldn’t leave you unprotected. You belong with us.”

“He doesn't trust me, and it is the best decision he can make.”

“In a way, none of us were very trustworthy in the beginning, but we tried honesty and it worked well for us, mostly… I think you’ll be fine, Essek, if you try.”

He laughed, short and humourless, but looked at Caduceus and managed his first honest smile in forever. 

“Thank you. I do not believe I can live up to your hopes, but try I shall.”

“‘S all that counts, really. People are messy. Trying is what’s important.”

“Your wisdom keeps astounding me.”

Caduceus chuckled. “Come on in when you’re ready.” And he wandered off.

Essek still hovered, coming just a little closer to the dome. Scanning the room, he dropped to his feet. He at least wanted to try being open in some way. 

The monster started shifting weirdly and he twitched, getting ready for a small-ish spell - but looking closely it was just Veth retrieving some bolts. She marched up to him and narrowed her eyes, trying to get a read on him. He cleared his throat. She shrugged.

“I mean, you didn’t kill any of us”, she said.

He furrowed his brows. “What…- I wouldn’t! Couldn’t… I…”

“I killed Caduceus once, you know. By accident.” She grinned. “Bit awkward for a while. But I promised I wouldn’t do it again! And I think I was doing alright? He’s in the way often though, you know. But I try to watch out for him.

“That is… frankly disturbing.” 

“Yeah, if you hurt any of them I’ll shoot you where it hurts the most.”

“That’s fair, I suppose.”

She pushed a flask into his hand. “I’m just messing with you. We could all die at any moment, we might as well try to get along.”

He laughed a bit. “Thank you.” But she vanished into the dome.

“Hey, Essek!”

Taking a sip out of the flask and making a face, he turned towards Beau’s abrasive voice and saw her head popping out of the dome.

“You okay?”

“Ah, I- I’m quite alright, thank you. You should rest, Beauregard, that was impressive.”

“Yeah I’m not really fighting to impress you-”  
Her face twitched as if someone had pinched her. Someone - Fjord? - mumbled something under his breath inside the dome. She forced her expression into something that vaguely resembled a smile.   
“I mean- thanks. I trained hard for it.”

Essek chuckled softly. “You have every right to be proud of your accomplishments.” 

She sighed and stepped out, nodding towards the dome. Essek stepped a little closer, watching her wearily.

“I’m not gonna hit you. Yet.” She looked him up and down, obviously noticing that he’d stopped floating. “You’re useful at least.”

“Not quite as much as I would like to be. This place is not kind to practitioners of magic.”

“Don’t sweat it, man, when I was starting out, I could do NOTHING. We were fighting ghosts and I could NOT punch them, and it SUCKED. And _I_ sucked! I think at some point I even beat up the others, but at least I’m over _that_ now, so don’t you try to use mind control on me, floaty wizard.”

Essek ducked his head. “I would not dare to, I promise.”

“At least I believe you with this one. Now come on.”

“I-”

“He didn’t lock you out man, stop shittin’ your pants.” 

Blushing, Essek took another sip of the whiskey and put away the flask for now. It was embarrassing, really, how afraid he was of that small possibility. He stepped towards the dome and barely lifted one hand to discreetly touch it against the smooth surface, just to check without making a fool of himself. But he did pass through as if it was nothing, and relief washed over him as he sunk to his knees in an empty spot. It was warm inside the dome, as comfortable as one could be in the freezing cold ruins of Aeor.

“There you are”, Caduceus said and handed him a cup of tea and some food. He looked at the gentle cleric with wide eyes before he turned his attention to Jester, who was flailing her arms and defending her fighting style.

“You were all holding on _so_ well, and Caduceus was watching, too! I didn’t _have_ to heal you yet! I wanted to _kill_ it - but of course Caleb got the final blow - that was a powerful spell, Caleb, so well done, I guess…”, she rambled.

Beau was rolling her eyes. Fjord just whimpered.

“I mean, it would have been nice to not _barely stay conscious_ , you know”, he sighed.

“Yeah but - _Fjord_. You pop right back up anyway, right? And Caduceus can heal you SO much better when you’re unconscious. Also, when we fought the dragon I TECHNICALLY could have saved a spell because we rested right after!”

“Are you seriously REGRETTING healing me?? I thought you _liked_ me!!”

“I do! I do, but - BUT - I’m just saying, if we rest, I don’t need to use a spell before that, you know?”

“I almost wish I’d sunk our ship back then.”

Essek blinked. “What.” 

He blushed as he realized his slip, but these people were just so incredibly captivating, and he fixed his gaze on Fjord to push away the anxiety that came with the looks of the others.

“Oh, yes”, Fjord rubbed his beard. “We didn’t know you back then - when we got our second ship, you know, the Balleater, I had this creepy sea entity which gave me my powers, and it wanted to be freed, so I was curious, and we went to a temple, and there was a strange altar stained with blood; we wanted to see what it did and tried to activate it. We later learned, guess what? It caused a horrible storm which had, years ago, probably almost sunk a ship I was working on, and after we left the temple, a similar storm brewed, and we had to fight through that, too!”

Essek, too bewildered to care about his nerves or his shame, looked at each of the Mighty Nein for a moment.

“Did… all of you try to kill the group at some point? That seems… highly inefficient to me. You seem so close, why…?”

He’d thought he had a pretty good bead on them. Now he wasn’t so sure. There was so much history between these people, and he couldn’t fathom what was going on in the heads of these idiots.

“Well, in the beginning”, said Fjord, “There’s always friction. At some point, I _did_ have my sword at Caleb’s neck.” 

“And I’d have shot you before you could have hurt him”, said Nott.

“I wasn’t really trying to keep us all together until Molly-”, Caleb muttered quietly.

Beau sighed.  
“Yeah. Three of us getting abducted and Molly dying kinda made us want to protect the group more.”

Caduceus sipped his tea, humming softly. “You were a work in progress, all of you.”

“What are we to you”, Beau sneered. “A fucking project?”

“Aren’t we all?” He looked around, his gaze resting on Essek for longer than he’d have liked.

A muttering of “He does have a point” washed through the Mighty Nein like a wave.  
“All of us - most of us - have done some horrible things”, Caleb said and his eyes were trained on the floor. “But we are trying to be better. Even if it takes a long time.”

Essek smiled sadly. “To leave it better than it was before?”

Jester smiled, cuddling up to Fjord. The others were nodding. Yasha put her arm around Beauregard, who sighed heavily.

“Man, I miss Molly. Wonder how it’d have gone if he hadn’t died.”

Yasha pressed her lips into a fine line. “I think he’s still in there somewhere. He was a part of Lucien’s soul. There’s good in all of us. I want to believe that there’s still some good in _him_.”

Essek stared at the floor in shame. The white-haired woman could be so threatening, yet she spoke so gently about their enemy. There was so much _love_ in all of these people, and they were met with nothing but disappointment.

“Sometimes, people snuff out even the last bits of light they may find inside their souls”, he said. He knew that he had crossed that threshold long ago.

But in his pondering, a warm hand touched his - rough and with dirty fingernails from dust and spell components, and for a moment it squeezed, and his breath hitched as he lifted his gaze. Caleb’s eyes bore into his, for the first time in a while so intensely fixed on him that he didn’t dare look away.

“Sometimes, it takes only a spark to rekindle that light. If there’s a will to feed it, and time for it to breathe.”

_Breathe. Time._

A shaky laugh found its way past Essek’s lips.  
Time, his speciality. It seemed to trickle to a stop around them as he turned his hand, just enough to catch Caleb’s in his.

“You’ve already set me alight”, he whispered.

Caleb smiled at him, and it was the most beautiful thing. A gentle pat on the cheek, and he couldn’t breathe - for the most wonderful reason.

“You will burn brightly, Essek. You’ve been our guiding star without intending to.”

His heart was aflame.

**Author's Note:**

> (Just imagine the M9 squealing in the background...)
> 
> Hope you liked it! English is my second language, so let me know if something reads weirdly!  
> Thank you, bye and see you probably in the next Essek fic ahaha


End file.
